Life on Mars

There was one place that everyone told us we should go, Utah. No matter who we asked, everyone told us that a trip to Utah was neccessary. We were surprised to say the least. Almost as surprised as we were when we came home and everyone chewed us out for not going to the Corn Palace. Now THAT was surprising.

As we were preparing to leave my cousins house in Arizona I realized that I couldn't find my wallet. After tearing apart the house and car I realized that it was more than likely at the Grand Canyon. Credit cards...identification...medical stuff...all sitting out in the open at the biggest tourist attraction in the US. Or worse, hanging out at the bottom of it. I called the gift shop and after identifying myself they assured me that they had it. I inquired about the contents and they said the the best of their knowledge everything was still there. Phew....

Unfortunately this put QUITE the detour in our trip to Utah plans as there is no easy way to get to the Grand Canyon. When we finally made it there I ran in to grab it and noted with relief that my cards were all still there. My cash was definitely missing...but I figured I deserved that.

We took a quick look at the Grand Canyon, still impressive, then continued on to Utah. Ha, no, that would have been too easy. Actually we backtracked back down towards Flagstaff again and went to visit Wupatki National Monument. We had a National Parks Pass and we were damned sure going to use it. Why couldn't we have visited on our way TO the Grand Canyon? I forget, but we had a reason...believe me we had a reason...I hope. Wupatki is a series of ruins of an old Native American settlement (I want to say Navajo but I don't think that's actually correct. I apologize). The National Parks Service site gives vague credit to the Hopi, Zuni and Navajo tribes. Long story short, it's impressive. It is a massive structure with the remains of over 100 rooms. Very cool.

The day was quickly getting away from us and we had a trip to Utah to make so we couldn't stay long. We got back on the road, stopping briefly for "navajo tacos" at the Cameron Trading Post. A navajo taco is basically a giant taco made with fry bread rather than a taco shell. They are enormous and they are delicious. I think I will be able to eat one every 15 years. It was delicious, but I get full just thinking about it.

I had never actually seen a food item that I believed could kill...until I met navajo taco

After eating as much of the navajo taco as we could without dying we spent some time wandering around the trading post desperately trying to digest the beast. Unfortunately time seemed to pass even faster while we were inside and by the time we got back on the road we had only limited sunlight left. We drove up into Utah as the sun set amongst the rocks. I know I've talked about sunsets a lot on this trip, but they really are different everywhere you go...and each place seemed to get more and more spectacular. The rocks glowed red and orange as the sky turned from blue, to purple, to black. Once it went black everything went black. We were at the mercy of our GPS. Crossing into Utah I noticed the time on my phone had changed but thought little of it. I was more concerned when we reached a fork in the road and our GPS told us to go one way, while the paper map we had seemed to suggest a different way would be better. We trusted the GPS. One day technology will realize my dependence on it and start to destroy me by leading me astray. Today was not that day, thankfully.

As we drove through the deserted darkness I was vaguely aware of every 60 Minutes special report I had ever seen. We had the makings of a good one, two girls, setting out across the country to find themselves, alone in the Utah desert at night....choose your own ending. I need to cut off my own Law and Order: SVU access. Eventually another familiar feeling crept over me...that feeling that we were on top of a mountain. Sure enough the road began to twist and turn and scenic overlook signs started to crop up. Great, there's nothing I love more than being on top of a mountain in the middle of the night. I really like it when the roads are narrow and trucks are coming straight at you with their high beams on too.

Utah driving had all of this then threw in the added bonus of deer. Deer everywhere. Lining the roads you could see the light reflect off of their eyes creating tiny glowing spheres on either side of you. Does that sound creepy enough? Because it definitely was.

We pulled into our hotel in Cedar City, UT at around 10 o'clock...or so we thought. We were surprised to find the door locked as we were told after hour check in didn't begin until 10:30 or so. We rang the doorbell and waited before a night clerk let us in. We asked why they had closed early and she said "it's 11 o'clock". We checked our watches and said "oh....we have it as 10 o'clock....". "It's 11." she assured us. Chiz and I looked at each other, each silently pondering what our next question would be...clearly there was a code that we had to break. "Could it by any chance be 10 o clock in Arizona?" Ch'nel asked? "Yep!" the woman eagerly replied. I pulled up the map of American time zones that I keep in my brain and attempted to figure out where I had gone wrong, it was my understanding that Utah sat DIRECTLY to the north of Arizona and thus a time zone change wouldn't make sense. "So....there's a time zone change in between Arizona and Utah?" I asked. "Sometimes!" the woman replied. "But it is now 11 o'clock" Ch'nel asked, desperately trying to get a hold of a crazy situation. "Yes. There was a time change. You're in room 212. Good night!" and with that she retreated back into the room she basically hangs out in all night. Whatever time it was, I was ready for bed.

We checked the internet and discovered that Arizona does not observe daylight savings and is thus sometimes on Pacific time and sometimes on Mountain time. I remember my friend Megan telling us about this but I always assumed it was some sort of Wild West folklore.

The next day I woke up and decided it would be a good day for my Red Sox t-shirt. This was a great decision as nothing attracts friends better than a Red Sox shirt. Even in Utah they started coming out of the woodwork. The man sitting behind us in the pancake restaurant wanted to know my feelings on the day's Patriots game (my response: Wait....is it Sunday?!?!?! What time is it again?). We hit the road and went to Zion National Park where a couple from San Francisco (by way of Brookline) were interested in my feelings on what went wrong for the Sox that year. I stuttered through it the best I could (team wasn't cohesive...no clear leader...blah blah blah) before Ch'nel was able to distract them with tales of our road trip. No one is better at changing the topic of conversation than Ch'nel, and that's a fact. Whether she intends to or not....she is quite good at getting me out of sticky situations.

The entrance to Zion National Park marked the last time for the next 48 hours that my mouth firmly closed. From that point on I was in a constant state of amazement. Every twist and turn throughout that park and Bryce Canyon, which we hit up later in the day brought a new mesmerizing sight. We had seen some awesome things on this trip, Yellowstone, Yosemite, The Grand Canyon, but the parks of Utah were out of this world. I actually thought we might have left earth. You could blindfold me, put a spacesuit on me, fly me to Utah and tell me that I was on Mars and I would totally believe you. I am that gullible. And, it's like nothing else on Earth.

As I mentioned after we left Zion National Park we went over to Bryce Canyon National Park. Bryce was awesome, however we didn't give it nearly enough time. In order to fully experience Bryce we would have had to have at least a full day and probably a little more hiking experience. Bryce looked like a giant child (imagine the kid in Honey I Blew Up the Kid but BIGGER) had taken all the wet sand in the world, dyed it orange, and made drip castles like you make at the beach. Also imagine that kid had an advanced degree in architecture and was able to make arches out of said sand. It was cool to say the least.

Once again we were fighting the sun. It was clear that fall had come and we were now working against daylight savings. We had to make it to the other side of Utah for our next days adventures and while we were pretty sure there were no sudden mountains in our way, we definitely wanted to avoid midnight desert driving.

And so we took off across the open desert. Once we reached the major highway signs began to threaten us that we were about to reach a 100+ mile stretch without a rest area. We decided to play it safe and pull off at the last gas station/Subway sandwich shop. Here we also stocked up on CDs and cassette tapes, a steal at 3 for $5. As Chiz painstakingly sifted through her selections I went to go pay for my sandwich.

Cashier: Whaddya have?

Me: Just half a hoagie

Cashier: A WHAT?!?!?

Me: Sorry, sub, half a sub

Cashier: No, what did you call it?

Me: A hoagie? Sorry, it's a...

Cashier: That's crazy. $3.75.

I met back up with Ch'nel at the car and asked her what she picked. She eagerly pulled out The Prince of Egypt and Hercules soundtracks, a CD of patriotic music and a cassette tape of prank calls. Awesome. This was going to be an fun 100+ miles. We threw on The Prince of Egypt and settled back to listen to our first new music in a month. We love Party in the USA as much as the next person (probably even more than the next person) but we were glad to get the opportunity to put our well worn CDs to rest.

We made it through the 100+mile stretch and were just ready to pull into Moab, our base for the night, when lights began flashing behind us. Dammit. Chiz pulled over and we were met by our second state trooper of the trip. This state trooper was infinitely better than our first state trooper as:

1. He pulled us over for a legit reason (our taillight was out)

2. He didn't charge us anything ("Not a problem, but it is a safety issue so if you could get it fixed I'd appreciate it")

3. He really wanted to hear about our road trip ("You're from New Jersey? So where are you going? Moab? Oh you're really going to like Moab. Where have you been? Oh wow, everywhere then. This sounds like a great idea you must be having so much fun!" sadly he was then almost hit by a car and realized he should probably finish up his paperwork)

4. He was hot.

Yes. He was very, very attractive. How attractive? Very. Classic clean cut American male. My type. Loved it. I tried to hand over my own license just so that I could give him my name and address. He thought I was nuts. After Chiz gave him her information he went back and finished up the paper work. When he returned he had a friend with him. Apparently he told his patrol buddy that they had a car with two girls in it. I know I should be appalled by this...but I liked it. I cannot stress how nice and attractive these cops were. Like everything else in Utah, they were gorgeous.

After we finished with social hour we bid adieu and went on our way. Day one in Utah had been an overwhelming success. Nice views, nice people, nice weather...we couldn't wait to see what day two had in store.

Until we reached the National Parks, this was my face in Utah "WHAT TIME IS IT?"

Zion

The scale of these parks is inimaginable

Every individual rock formation is different

Bryce Canyon

I knew I loved Utah!

The Truly Grand Canyon

It's been exactly 4 months since we returned from our trip. I'm not exactly sure why I stopped blogging, I think I just got caught up in being back home and the time I was away seemed like a dream. That's all the more reason for why I should get back in the game and blog while I remember what happened. My memories faded so quickly once I got home, now I even wonder whether I actually was gone or not. Ch'nel put up some more pictures of the trip on Facebook today and I was spellbound looking at them. The sky was so much bluer, I was tan, my face had a constant incredulous look on it, I suddenly remembered what that month and a half felt like.

Even more spectacular were her pictures of the Grand Canyon. How can I describe the Grand Canyon? If I can say one thing about it it's that no matter what you read, no matter what you see, you cannot grasp the magnitude of the Grand Canyon until you see in it person. I was prepared to be underwhelmed, to be disappointed, to find that it didn't live up to the hype. Absolutely not, it is absolutely spectacular. Perhaps that's why it's been so hard to write about. No matter what I say, no matter what I tell you, I cannot describe the feeling you get, standing on it's edge, looking into a 3000 foot crater. I cannot describe the way the light bounces off the walls of the crater, creating a new view every moment of the day. I cannot describe the feeling that we got standing out at Shoshone Point, alone, as the sun set along the horizon. The absolute silence, the feeling that we were part of something completely bigger than ourselves. The absolute submission to nature. I'll provide the pictures, but until you go there and see if for yourself you'll never understand.







I will never be able to acurately describe how blue the sky was the day I first saw the Grand Canyon
I was constantly afraid Ch'nel was going to go over the edge.
We killed time before the sunset by jumping out of this tree


Ch'nel is far more daring than I'll ever be.
Whipping out black and white mode.
Sun begins to set.
Best travel companion I'll ever have.

1000 people told us how spectacular the sunset over the Grand Canyon was, and I would never believe it until I saw it for myself.

I also left my wallet at the Grand Canyon, but that's a story for another day. Probably tomorrow.

Red Rocks of Sedona

Driving north to Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon was the start of what would be about 5 days of the most glorious car rides one can imagine. Rock formations began to pop up in the desert, all of them different shades of orange and red. Every five minutes Ch'nel or I would yell "Hey! Look at that!" or "Over there! Over there!" (not actual quotes, but you get the idea). We were making great time so we decided to pull off at Sedona and see the famous red rocks.

Excellent decision. Excellent, excellent decision. Mark it down on your "must see" list. We pulled into the park and began the always exciting task of snapping pictures while driving. There wasn't anywhere to pull off at this point but yet with every new turn a new view revealed itself, each more glorious than the last one. After about a mile the road disappeared and we were on dirt. I began to worry about the car, Rigby is not made for off roading by any means. As we bumped along we also took note of the giant houses that had been built along the rocks. Stunning enormous houses lined the road, each set at awkward angles so as to give them the best views. The land that there were on alone must have cost an outrageous amount of money, couple that with the size of the houses and I could only imagine who lived in them. I don't think even the queen of England could afford one of these houses.

Eventually we picked the right path and made our way to the official park where we could get out and walk. We pulled up to the ticket booth and prepared to pay our three dollars or whatever parking fee there was. As it was a state park we assumed our national park pass didn't work there. After I paid the fee I noticed a small sign in the window with a picture of the park pass on it. I inquired as to whether they do actually accept the pass. The woman angrily tapped the sign that said "We accept the following passes" only the national park pass had a giant X through it. Hey! Don't get huffy with me, I already paid my three dollars, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to be missing out on a ice cream cone or something later because I wasn't smart. Rare instance of a bad attitude in the West.

The park was a lot of fun with lots of rocks to climb on, streams to jump over and otherwise gorgeous scenery.

We took a spin through the town of Sedona after we were through exploring the park. Very nice town, although creepily I would later discover that we were there on the same day as the sweat lodge deaths at one of the town's spas that later became national news.

We continued north to Flagstaff where we pulled up to my cousin Paul's house, our base for the next few days. We were met at the door by Paul's son Alex who showed us where to get settled before running off to join his friends. We assumed he was going to go do those things that teenage boys do, you know get drunk and high. Nope, he was going ice skating. Well then. He stopped right before he left to say "Oh....and don't let the dogs out of their crate". We looked down at the crate to see two tiny dogs, one peacefully sleeping in the back and the other starring us down with a look that would strike fear in even the toughest marine all while letting out a low constant growl. While the dog could fit in my hand....we decided that yes, it would be best to leave her in her crate.

Not very long after he left Alex came flying back in, apparently free skate at the local rink had been cancelled. Ch'nel and I were impressed that he hadn't used that free time to go get drunk and high. Neither Ch'nel nor I were hell raisers during high school, but we can only assume that's because we're lame. Clearly, every other high schooler out there is constantly drunk and or high in our minds. Alex ran out the door to go down the street for a "couple of minutes" and true to form returned literally a few minutes later. We were very amused by Alex and his honesty. It gave us back hope in those younger than us, hope we were beginning to lose after seeing the newbies at work in the summer.

Eventually the rest of the family, Paul, his wife Theresa and their daughter Maisie, returned home and we set about making ourselves at home. The dogs were let out and after barking at me for an hour straight Kina finally decided she was ok with me in the house. After a delicious dinner it was announced that it was almost time for the office. This got me super excited as it was the Jim and Pam wedding episode and I didn't think I was going to be able to see it. Ch'nel and I laughed a little too loudly at this scene

And would continue to quote it for the rest of the trip whenever there was a long boring stretch.

After The Office we stretched out on what just might be the most comfortable sofa bed ever and passed out. I was going to talk about the Grand Canyon in this post as well, but that really deserves it's own post. It's just that awesome. We'll do that tomorrow.

Getting Back in the Game

It's been almost a month since we've come home, which is actually not too hard to comprehend. I definitely feel like I've been home for a month. A threatening message was left on my Facebook wall regarding the state of this blog and to my horror said message was "liked" by someone else. Clearly there is a bounty on my head if I don't step my game up.

Where we last left off we had reached San Diego. San Diego, as you all may know, is on the absolute opposite side of the continent. We therefore have A LOT to cover.

After finishing our pizza sized pancakes we hopped back in the car and set out for Scottsdale, AZ. The drive through Southern California and Arizona was lovely. The desert is probably the region that fascinated me the most on this trip as I had absolutely nothing to compare it to back East. When we were in mountains I would think "Wow, this is just like New Hampshire...only BIGGER!" when we were in the Redwoods I would think "wow, this is just like down the street...only BIGGER" etc, etc. Driving through Arizona I could only stare and soak in the new experience.

I took a course on the American West last year and a recurring theme was the vastness of land out there (funny side note, I woke Ch'nel up because I was listing the themes of the American West out loud in my sleep one night. Apparently I did learn something in college.). It's no more true than in the southwest. Thousands of acres of land stretch on either side of the highway, bordered by mountains in the distance that you just never seem to reach. They are perpetually in the distance. At one point we pulled over to a rest stop (the only one for hundreds of miles around) which consisted of a bathroom and a memorial marker. The memorial was to a police officer who had been shot on the road back in the fifties. My breath was taken away as I realized how deserted the area was in 2009, I can only imagine how little traffic there had been in the fifties. It's a little morbid but I couldn't help wonder how long he had been there before someone discovered him. I wish I had written the name down to find out more later, but again, morbid.

Arizona also introduced us to a lifestyle that must be so common for their residents, yet so alien to us. Every hundred miles or so we had to slow down to pass through an immigration check point. We had heard about these stops but had no idea what to expect. As we pulled up the the first one Ch'nel was passed out in the front seat. I woke her up and told her to grab any identification that she had because I wasn't sure how intense these checks would be. I gave myself a quick pep talk about how this was neither the time nor the place to crack jokes so just keep your mouth shut and do what the officer asks. We slowly rolled up to the check point and rolled down our window. A friendly officer sauntered up to the window, looked at the mess in the back and yelled "JERSAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Chiz and I were silent. How do we respond to that. After five seconds of silence we chuckled and I muttered "jer..sayyyy?" in response. The officer laughed and waved us through without any sort of check. Alright, spread the word, put Jersey plates on your car and you can smuggle as many immigrants through Arizona as you like.

We laugh it off and a hundred miles later get excited as we see another checkpoint approach. Sweet! We love checkpoints. We roll up, far more jauntily than we did to the last one, and are met by a rather stern officer. He stares us down as another officer takes a German shepherd around our car to sniff for god knows what. When he gets the ok from that officer the original officer leans into our car and says "Are you both US citizens?" We nod yes. He steps back and looks into the back of our car, which is covered in clothes and food and other stuff that could easily be hiding a person, before coming back to the window "And there is no one else in this car?" *head shake* "Alright, carry on". Far more intimidating that the first one. The idea that a whole section of the country has come to accept this as a daily part of life is mind-boggling. As we pulled away Ch'nel looked at me and said "What if I wasn't a US citizen but I never told you that? How pissed would you be if you only found that out at an immigration check-point?" I chose not to respond to that question, I felt a strong look conveyed my feelings on that matter.

We continued along our merry way into the Phoenix/Scottsdale area. I've always had mixed feelings on this region as I feel it's a completely inhospitable area that has been altered in a way to support development that will ultimately end up in a catastrophe of epic proportions. There are really just some places that aren't meant to be lived in, folks. The problem, however, is that I know a TON of people from the area including very close friends and family who claim the region is paradise. It's hard to argue when you've never been there, so I was eager to check it out.

We began to see signs of life as we drew closer to the cities. I was less than impressed as the signs of life looked just like New Jersey. This isn't a diss to NJ or AZ...merely an observation that NJ is more hospitable to this sort of development. I don't see this need to move west merely to build the same thing that you had back east. I was hoping that there would be something different about the cities. Also unnerving were the speed traps that were everywhere. Along the highways leading into the city were cameras with speedometers attached. I would later learn that if you went 9mph above the posted speed limit there would be a flash and a picture of your car would be taken and you would be sent a ticket. Arizona is a police state.

We made our way to Scottsdale where we pulled up to my Aunt and Uncle's house where we would be meeting them for dinner. They were out at Tai Chi but told us that the backdoor was open. We weren't exactly sure that this was the right house as there we couldn't find a house number. When we walked up there was music on in the house and I started to get nervous that we were about to break into the wrong house. We opened up the back door and I immediately began to search for a picture of the family that would confirm we were in the right place. Luckily, my Aunt has decorated her hallways with pictures of her grandchildren so we could all breathe a sigh of relief.

Ch'nel set to work trying to remember the names of all of my aunt and uncle's grandchildren, a game she had started when we stayed at their daughters house in Oregon. She was really getting quite good at it, much better than I was to say the least.

The family soon arrived home and my aunt started cooking us dinner while my uncle set to work quizzing us on the meaning of life. The actual meaning of life. He's a very philosophical man. My aunt joined us and began giving us a pitch on why we should live in Arizona. I had to admit her backyard was lovely, purple mountains in the distance, fruit trees in the side yard, the ability to eat dinner outside in October....it was very appealing. "We live where others vacation, how great is that" she closes her pitch with. That stuck with me, why do you want to live where you're supposed to vacation? Doesn't that take the joy out of it? Who am I to judge, though, maybe there is something to waking up to a yard full of lemon trees. Maybe I'm missing out on something, but despite it's beauty I'm still not sold on living in the southwest.

We realized that we had to get a move on as we would be spending the night with our friend Christina. My aunt refused to let us leave without getting a tour of their house, right down to the artwork in their bathroom. Ch'nel pulled out all the stops on this tour, referencing children and grandchildren as well as commenting on their wonderful pieces of wycinakni (Polish paper cuttings). Damn you, Ch'nel, damn you.

We said our goodbyes and set out across town to see Christina. We hadn't seen her since summer 2006, our first summer at CES. This was also the infamous summer when I didn't talk...at all. For some odd reason for an entire summer I showed up to work every day, did my job and said nothing. Now they can't get me to shut up. Driving over I realized just how weird this situation would be. When Christina last knew Ch'nel and I the two of us weren't friends. We didn't really talk to each other, we barely interacted, now we're driving across the country together? I can only imagine what must have been going through her mind when she heard we were stopping by. I wondered if I should retreat back into my silent self, the me that Christina was more familiar with, or go above and beyond to prove to her that I now was quite gregarious. Eventually I chose to be myself, surprisingly not one of my first two options.

All and all everything turned out great. Christina won our hearts over when she already knew quite a bit about our trip as she had been following our blog. That always made the trip recap easier, when people had done their research. After a bottle of wine and a couple hours of "remember whens" we turned in for the night. Christina unfortunately had to leave early the next morning so we said our goodbyes at night. She gave us a tip to check out South Mountain before we began our journey north to Flagstaff, a tip that we gladly took her up on the next day.

Navigating the streets of Scottsdale was a bit rough. After breakfast at Dennys we attempted to follow the GPS to South Mountain. A series of traffic circles and multi street intersections turned us around a couple times but eventually we made our way there. The views were really great. The area is vast, as we touched on before, so you can see quite far. Also interesting was looking down at the city it looks like one large city. I overheard the man next to me explain to the person he was with, however, that what I was looking at was actually three different cities. Phoenix was obviously the largest, then Scottsdale, then...something else that I now forget. I have no idea how they decide where one ends and one begins because from up there it all looks the same.

We came down from the mountain and began our drive north. Tune in shortly (and I promise, it will be shortly) to hear about Sedona, Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon.

Worst. Blogger. Ever

We're home. I know, you would never know it given that we left off in San Diego, CA.

Here's the deal, driving around on highways upwards of 9 hours a day, every day, for a month and a half is exhausting. Your eyes get tired, your shoulders ache, you just want to go to sleep every time you get a bed like surface to sleep on. I have a ton of half written blogs that I started to write but ended up just saying things like "Arizona is pretty". I know that my readers expect nothing but quality, so I chose to stop blogging until I returned.

Unfortunately, multiple people contacted my mom and asked if something horrible had happened to me because of the sudden blog stoppage. I apologize. I didn't realize so many people cared about my well being and I thank those who contacted my mom. For those who didn't contact mom....what the hell!?!?! I could be lying in a ditch in Utah and you wouldn't have done anything. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Now I'm back and I have nothing to do. Today I slept until noon before declaring victory in my battle against the Lawrence Township Library (90+ dollars in fines over the past 10 years mysteriously gone, this is what happens when you wait things out). After that I declared the day a success, came home and had a glass or two of wine. This is my life now, and will continue to be my life until someone finds these traits employable. As a result, I have lots of time to tell you stories of our time on the road. So keep checking back, this blog is not done, it's not even halfway done. Our drive may be finished but the trip is far from over.

Here is a preview of what's to come

Sun is in the sky, oh why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else

We weren't quite done with California after our LA adventures, so we slipped down to San Diego for a quick visit. I didn't really know what to expect from San Diego. I heard it was gorgeous, and I knew it had the greatest zoo in the world. I like gorgeous places and I love the zoo so I figured I would be fine.

We pulled up to Chiz's friend Charisse's house and had barely put our stuff down before she had us back out the door and on a whirlwind adventure around the city. I handed her our car keys and enjoyed the backseat of the car for the first time on this trip...after we had uncovered it from a layer of stuff. First stop was burritos at a gas station. Fine, the burritos were at a restaurant...that was at a gas station. No matter, they were fantastic. More importantly we tried horchata, a cinnamon-milk drink, for the first time. That was pretty yummy, I could get used to that.

After lunch we went down to the harbor where we saw tall ships and a series of sculptures. Charisse and Chiz, both bio majors, eagerly posed in front of a sculpture of a DNA double helix. Not wanting to alienate me, Charisse offered to take my picture in front of some urban development. I declined, but quickly snapped a picture of a cool art deco building immediately after she said that.

We walked up to San Diego's Little Italy after that. This allowed us to see a bit of the city. It was a weird city because...no one was there. Apart from a group of skateboarding youth the place was empty. Little Italy was decorated with banners of famous Italians. While I assumed they were famous Italians who are somehow associated with San Diego...they weren't. Even more perplexing was their choice of celebrities. They led off with architect Cesar Pelli...a strange lead off choice especially when you consider that he's Argentinean.

After our brief exploration of the city Charisse announced that it was time to go to the zoo. YES! For those of you who don't know me, I love the zoo. I love any zoo. I think they're fascinating. From their layout to the animals to the people who go to the zoo. I could spend hours...days even...in zoos. The San Diego Zoo is widely cited as the creme de la creme of zoos. It's so elite that my zoo pass doesn't even work there. There are no words to describe how excited I was to go to the San Diego Zoo.

The most surprising thing about the zoo is how hidden away it is. For such a famous zoo, it's tucked back behind a middle school with an free parking lot out front (Philadelphia charges 12 bucks for parking). We bought tickets and discover that with our (really expensive, makes up for the free parking) admission, we also have access to the zoo bus and skyride. Aw crap, that sounds like a fancy word for ski lift. I really hate ski lifts.

That ski lift was the first thing we did once inside the park, because otherwise we were going to have to hoof it across the park to see the elephants. That's how big the park is, you need sky transportation to cross it. Our jaws dropped at the sheer size of this park as we flew over it. It was clear that we were not going to get to see everything and that we needed a plan. Basically the extent of our plan was elephants...pandas....whatever is in between.

We crash landed (almost literally, they need a better descent plan for those things) at the station and rounded the corner to the elephants. Their elephant enclosure was a thing of beauty. The Philadelphia Zoo recently sent their elephants away because of the size of their own enclosure. It was for lack of better words, terrible (I loved it, but that's besides the point). This enclosure had plenty of space, trees with barrels of hay hanging from it and a giant indoor area. All in all I believe they had 13 elephants. 13! Fantastic! The elephants seemed generally happy as well, chomping away on hay and playing with their toys.

After staring at the elephants for awhile we began to explore the zoo. The San Diego Zoo suffers from the same fundamental flaw as the National Zoo and that is that it is built on a hill. Walking it is murder. As a result even if it were a smaller walkable distance, the hills would destroy you. Getting to the monkey exhibit involves an elaborate system of escalators. Once at the monkeys we made a bee line for the gorillas. A gorilla exhibit can either be incredibly boring, with the gorillas hiding or sleeping, or the most entertaining thing in the world if the animals are doing something (anything).

At first glance there were no gorillas, then as if scheduled for an appearance, one came out and went through a series of poses. He even sat on a rock and turned his head from side to side as if to say "let me give you my good side". I swear I saw him look at his watch before leaving 5 minutes later. I think these might be trained animals.

After the gorilla we wandered over to the chimpanzees. Again after a few minutes of staring a giant chimp emerged from somewhere, sat on a rock, and posed before leaving again after his posing time was up. This zoo is filled with professionals.

Making out way out of the monkey exhibit was rough but we eventually made our way down to the pandas. The National Zoo panda always looks sort of sad and depressed but these pandas were having a lovely time chomping away on bamboo and posing for pictures. I think it was because we were told to keep our voices down. They don't tell you that at the National Zoo and I think that makes a difference. Clearly I am an expert on these things so you should listen to me.

We left the panda exhibit and swung by the sun bears. Chiz was sad that we hadn't seen any bears at Yellowstone or Yosemite so the sun bears were a bit of a compromise. They were fantastic. The exhibit consisted of one exhausted mother and two cubs with endless energy. We watched as they raced up tree limbs and slid down waterfalls. Fabulous.

After the sun bears we decided to leave. Unfortunately we were in the exact middle of the zoo and had no idea how to get out. After following the maze of paths we stumbled upon the exit and were able to beat the exiting mass out of the park. The San Diego Zoo is fantastic, but incredibly overwhelming. It's great to visit, but I'm sticking with my allegiance to the Philly Zoo.

Charisse drove us over to the beach where we met up with her sister to watch the sunset and get some fish tacos (or as they called them, feesh tacas). The beach was alive with surfers and pot heads all with nothing better to do with their lives. I would judge them, but I had nothing better to do with my life either. We had seen a bunch of sunsets on this trip, but it was still mindblowing to see the sun gradually drift below the horizon, leaving a trail of pink and orange.

The bar where we got feesh tacas was right on the beach. The place was packed and people were circling the bar like vultures waiting for people to get up from their tables. We almost got into a fight with a group of people over a table before we noticed a better table in the corner. The tacos were incredible. One was grilled mahi mahi and the other....I forget, but it was fantastic. San Diego was really winning me over. The carefree lifestyle of watching the sunset then chowing down on fish tacos was one that I could get used to.

Charisse was ready for more fun after dinner while Chiz and I were ready to crash. After discussing multiple options we decided on cupcakes in the city's Gaslight District. This would have been great, except finding a parking space was like finding a needle in a haystack. We finally found a spot...right as the cupcake store locked it's door. That's how cupcakes in the Gaslight District turned into rice krispie treats back at Charisse's apartment. That sounds perfect to me.

We stopped at the grocery store on the way home where the checkout lady was appalled to learn that we didn't have a value card for the supermarket. Rather than type in her own number as is the protocol at most supermarkets, she asked the young gentleman behind us if he'd like to give us his number to use. Oh, I see what you did there. The check out woman tried to hook us up. Touche, my friend, touche. He didn't have his card so he had to use his phone number. That's right, we got his digits.

The night ended with delicious rice krispie treats, youtube videos, and general sleepover fun. At one point I had to run out to the car to grab a sweatshirt and was greeted with five cop cars and a man watching the action who gave me a quick "You're gonna wanna go back to your apartment" look. I decided the sweatshirt could wait and went back to Charisse's apartment...and locked the door behind me.

We had a long drive to Arizona ahead of us in the morning, but Charisse wouldn't let us leave until we had pancakes at the Hash House. We are ALL for pancakes, so we eagerly agreed. As we drove there Charisse told us that "we should probably only order two pancakes for the three of us". Wait...what? We usually are good for three pancakes each. What sort of super pancakes are these?

Pizza sized pancakes, that's what. Legit pancakes the size of pizzas. Out of control. Even more out of control were the flavors, we got banana and brown sugar and butterscotch almond. WOW! It was an explosion of flavor in my mouth. It was almost overwhelming. Actually no, it was overwhelming. It was so delicious yet only after the fact can I realize how much I enjoyed it. At the time eating that pancake was a mission that I had to accomplish. I failed on that mission and was thus disappointed. Now...I want another one, immediately.

With our stomachs full of pancakes we hit the road. As San Diego was the half way point, we were officially heading home....by way of the entire southern United States. San Diego was fantastic. Beautiful, comfortable, and filled with fantastic people. While I found the rest of California a bit overwhelming....I could definitely see myself in San Diego.

God I hate ski lifts
Elephants!
Charisse and Ch'nel with the elephants
Posing
Posing
These guys are pros
San Diego Surfers
Glorious

PS. It's my birthday. Do whatever you please with that piece of information.

With a Dream and a Cardigan

I am SO behind on blog entries. We're moving much faster than we were on the outward bound trip. As a result we usually arrive at our destination at night and I crawl into bed mumbling "I'll blog in the morning". Then we wake up about a half hour before check out at whatever place we're at and I have to run to get into the shower and packed up in order to check out with three minutes left before the 10 dollar punishment kicks in. Actually this only describes last night/this morning...but it works! I promise to work harder.

Yosemite was awesome, we've already covered this, but as with all aspects of the trip we had to move on. Not before I got a morning swim in, did my laundry and ate one of every item at the free breakfast buffet (and stuffed 3 oranges in my purse). We finally wrenched ourselves away from our beloved Shilo and hit the road for Los Angeles, which I expected to be nothing less than as described in Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A".

The trip to LA was fairly boring. Nothing too exciting, just lots of suburban sprawl and orange groves. You know you've hit LA when you suddenly stop moving. I have heard scores and scores about LA's traffic....it's all true. It's worse that what you hear, it is a 24/7 parking lot that occasionally turns into a NASCAR race. Even at 2pm on a Sunday. It's my idea of hell.

Actually no, my idea of hell involves roller coasters, crowds, people jumping out at you dressed in scary outfits and ridiculously overpriced tickets to experience this. Which is why I was distressed when we called our friend Ryan from the traffic mess and he told us to meet him at Knotts Berry Farm for their version of Fright Fest. Great. Ryan was also our ticket to our hotel room that night, so without Ryan we couldn't do squat. Fantastic. LA, you're not off to a good start.

We made our way down towards Knotts (apparently America's first theme park?) and were earlier than we had told Ryan. We were also famished, so we pulled off at the first restaurant we saw, Outback Steakhouse. What a terrible restaurant. I've never eaten at an Outback before but their food is so boring. It just sort of sits on your plate. Congratulations Outback, you become the first food establishment to get a negative review on this blog. That's really hard to accomplish.

We finished our dinner and headed over to Knotts Berry Farm with the other 30,000 cars. Apparently this is a big deal in the world of amusement park fright fests. I wouldn't know...I hate scary things and roller coasters, these are not stats that I keep track of. After we managed to navigate the sea of pierced high schoolers and angry cops we made it to a parking lot that demanded 15 dollars to park there. Apparently this was the "premium" lot. If we wanted to turn around the regular lots were only 12 dollars. As this is California and gas costs as much as my house, we decided that we would actually lose money in trying to find the regular lot and shelled out the dough.

We made it to ticket booth where we discovered that tickets cost as much as my house, car and first born child put together. On top of that we had to wait...forever...in a long line. Then once we got our tickets we were going to have to wait even more just to get in. We had almost made it to the front of the line when Ryan called to tell us that he had a coupon for cheaper tickets. So we stepped out of the line, met Ryan, then go back into the end of the line. Great.

I need to cut this short if I want this blog to end up being less than novel length. Long story short, it was not hell. Anytime with Ryan is guaranteed fun. The place was so crowded that you were able to identify where actors were hiding, waiting to jump out at you. My favorite was the guy that jumped out, or should I say strolled out, looked at us and said "How are you? Having fun? Good, please continue". It was right out of David Sedaris's "Santaland Diaries" (read it! read it now!).

Eventually Ryan's jetlag kicked in, our carlag kicked in, and Ryan's friend began wandering off to stare at "food on sticks". We stopped in front of a show, only to discover one of the most racist and homophobic performances I've ever seen. We were all kind of in awe as the performers made numerous remarks about sex acts between popular movie characters and the like. When an angel wearing a thong made a Holocaust joke we decided it was time to go.

We made our way out to Pasadena with Ryan where we dropped our stuff off in his sweet hotel room. Ryan was in California on business and thus had a kickass Embassy Suites room with a flat screen tv, internet and free breakfast. It was glorious.

The next day we took our time getting up. Ryan didn't have to do any work until later that afternoon so we slept in and watched some football. I think this was my favorite thing about the West Coast. When I woke up at 10, all I had to do was turn the tv on and the Patriots were playing. Waking up to Tom Brady is always great.

Eventually we were able to rally and move a couple of yards down the street to the Olive Garden for soup, salad and breadsticks. Has there ever been a better lunch deal? Outback, take note. You may have noticed that our meal options so far have been chains, something we've tried to avoid. You can't avoid it in LA. I don't care what people say about LA's restaurant culture...chain restaurants are unavoidable on the outskirts of the city. I guess you could say the same about New Jersey, but we'll just move on.

Ryan had to go do some work after lunch, so I went to meet up with my friend/former roommate Shannon who now lives in LA. Shannon arrived in her shiny new car with a list of places we needed to go. I like that, I like people who plan my trips for me. And so we were off. First stop was the Hollywood sign. Shannon is relatively new to the city and thus still unfamiliar with the mess that is the freeway system. After a couple of tries we made it to the right street and were rewarded with a great view of the sign. While really nothing special, it does make you feel giddy when you see it. I imagine it's similar to west coasters seeing the Statue of Liberty or Empire State Building. It's something that you've associated with television or pictures for so long that to actually see it is cool.

We continued on along on our tour of LA. Shannon drove me by her apartment and supermarket before we reached the La Brea tarpits. While not originally on our destination list, I made her stop. I've wanted to see these ever since My Girl 2, when Dude from the Babysitters Club Movie pretends to throw Girl from Golddiggers:The Secret of Bear Moutain's ring (The one Macauley Culkin gave her in the first movie before dying of bee stings) into them. I'm not joking, that scene has stuck with me over the years, and I was anxious to see the site of it.

They were cool. I mean, how could a giant pit of tar with a fiberglass model of a mammoth getting sucked into it while her child mammoth screams out in sorrow not be cool. I was a little disappointed that the fence around them was so high. I know there are obvious reasons for why it's there, but you really couldn't get a view of the pit. I also thought that there were actual animal remains still in the pits, but unfortunately only fiber glass models.

We returned to the car with the intention of going to Santa Monica for dinner. While close in distance, remember, this is LA. On the way we drove through Beverly Hills, where I got to see Rodeo Drive. I took the time that we were at a traffic light to recount the scene in D2: The Mighty Ducks where a group of Ducks convinces a store owner that one of them was Aaron Spellings nephew and are able to get into one of the fancy stores for a private show. Shannon did not seem interested and counteracted with the time she thought she saw Chuck Norris. I think I won that battle. D2 always wins. Quack. I digress. After going through Beverly Hills we passed through a Turkish protest before eventually making our way into Santa Monica.

We reached the beach just in time for sunset. It was really great to watch the sun set over the Pacific. California does have that all over the East Coast. The Pacific sunset is spectacular. We explored the pier and surrounding area for awhile before getting dinner at a (to my knowledge) non-chain Greek restaurant. Very good. Even better was after dinner when Shannon introduced me to Coffee Bean. Wow. That's some good stuff. It is a very good thing we don't have those on the East Coast or my money would be gone.

It was getting late and I didn't want to keep Ryan and Chiz waiting at the hotel so Shannon took me back. Unfortunately this wasn't as easy as it should have been. At this point I feel obligated to preface this story (specifically to my parents) with the fact that I am fine and have been fine for over a week now. Just before we were going to exit the freeway for another freeway towards Pasadena, we noticed the car in front of us clip a piece of debris that had been on the road. The debris flew through the air and before we had time to react slammed into us and lodged itself under Shannon's car. The sound of metal scraping pavement filled the car and when I looked out my window I saw sparks flying up. Adreneline kicked in and we were able to guide the car to the side of the road and call AAA without panicking. The AAA woman sounded mildly panicked, however, when I told her what had happened and she set to work trying to calm me down. Apparently she seemed to think I should be freaking out. I was fine, I just wanted to get off the freeway. Apparently "large piece of debris stuck under car" "out of towner on freeway" and "sparks" are all key words you should use when dealing with AAA because they had a tow truck to us within 10 minutes.

Or so we thought. The tow truck driver picked us up, loaded the car onto the truck and had us off of the freeway in no time. He took us to a shop near Shannon's and offered to drive us down the street to her apartment so we wouldn't have to walk alone at night. Great! This is fantastic! I've never had anything dealt with so fast. While we're in the truck, however, my phone rings. It's AAA. They're on the freeway and can't find us. Wait, what!?!?!? Who the hell's truck am I in. My heart starts racing. All I can think is that some crazy guy bought himself a truck and searches the highway every night for stranded girls. oh my god. Panic. I can hear my voice trembling as I try to figure this out. "Who is this guy" I ask the AAA man on the phone. He sounds concerned, as all Los Angeles AAA people are it seems, "I don't know" he responds. "How did he get our information?!?!?" "Your guess is as good as mine". NOT HELPING AAA MAN! After a tense 5 minutes of me freaking out demanding to know who the hell the driver was and what the hell was going on, we reach Shannon's apartment. While it becomes clear that he doesn't intend to kill us and dump our bodies in a dark alley, I'm still panicking and dialing Ryan every minute to make sure he's on his way to pick me up. Apparently it is popular amongst freelance tow truck drivers to intercept AAA calls. I'm filing this under "Things I Did Not Know About Before This Trip That Terrify Me Now". I think the fact that a freelance tow truck driver might intercept my call now freaks me out more than the idea of getting into car trouble. Now that my mother has had a heart attack, let me reiterate: I am fine and I now know what to watch out for when calling AAA.

Ryan and Ch'nel were quick to arrive at Shannon's apartment albeit confused by my numerous rambling messages about "Debris....just....we hit debris". They got me back to Pasadena where I was able to get to bed, somehow shaking off the most disturbing portion of this trip.

Ryan had to work all day the next day, so Ch'nel and I were on our own. We woke up a little before 8 in order to put in a call for standby tickets to the Ellen show. After that all we could do was wait for Ellen to call us. We decided that our waiting time would be best spent in Hollywood...mainly because it was the only thing that we could think to do in LA. I know it's a big city with lots to do...but we're really not creative. We strolled up and down the Walk of Fame. Ch'nel took pictures of stars of people that she likes, I took pictures of Celine Dion and Ricky Martin. Along the Walk of Fame we stopped at the Kodak Theater (home of the Oscars) and Grauman's Chinese Theater. Grauman's was very cool, especially the handprints of really old Hollywood stars like Cary Grant and Marilyn Monroe.

After exploring Hollywood we decided that since if we did get standby tickets to Ellen we would have to get out to Burbank ASAP, we might as well go and take the studio tour there. We got there only to discover that tickets were 40+ dollars. After the Knotts Berry Farm incident, we just couldn't afford that. By that point if Ellen was going to call then she would have called so dejected we left Burbank and headed for the Getty Center. Even more rejection met us there when we discovered that the Getty Center is closed on Mondays. Man, we are not doing well in LA! We searched our pamphlets and discovered that the Getty Villa is not closed on Mondays, however you need reservations to go.

Ch'nel finagled reservations while I drove up the coast to the villa. The Getty Villa was the original home of John Paul Getty and his art collection. While the Getty Center now hosts most of the art work, the Getty Villa has it's own collections specializing in antiquities. Also, it's a pretty house. Once there we were met by what can only be described as the most enthusiastic volunteers ever. They navigated us up a hill and into a parking garage with such excitement that I wondered if we had actually accidentally entered Disneyland. Once at the villa we were again eagerly directed towards the tour table and told to sign up for the special collections tour that was leaving in 5 minutes. Well, why not!

This was an excellent decision, one I highly recommend, as we got an hour long tour of four pieces led by a museum guide. With only four pieces we learned a lot about sarcophagi, mosaics, frescos and tera cotta sculptures. I felt like I was back in school at times as we were expected to participate and ask questions. Our guide asked what we thought about the bull in the mosaic and I volunteered that I thought it represented the second athlete that was also depicted in the piece. That was not the right answer and I felt the familiar sting of "well that's an interesting idea...what are some other thoughts". Ouch, I forgot how much failure hurts. It was like being back at Bryn Mawr. Luckily I rebounded when I asked about it's creation and whether it was created separately and then installed as a floor tile or created right on the floor. That was a "great question!" apparently. Score one for my pride.

After the tour we explored the grounds a little more, but rush hour was quickly approaching and if normal traffic in LA is terrible, I didn't even want to think about rush hour traffic.

We made it back to Pasadena in relatively good shape. We definitely got caught in rush hour traffic and it definitely wasn't pretty. I was hungry and had a headache and couldn't decide whether I wanted to sleep or eat. We chose eat, and decided that dinner would be our first In-N-Out burger ever. In-N-Out had been hyped up to me as the greatest thing I would ever eat. I had high expectations, thats for sure. The burger was very good. Much better quality than a fast food burger, but the fries were awful. They were soggy to the point that they tasted more like mashed potatoes than french fries. Not the ideal first In-N-Out experience, but it wasn't awful.

We returned to the hotel to continue with our lazy bum lifestyle of television watching and t-shirt decorating. After we determined that there was nothing on tv we were able to get Ryan hooked on www.sporcle.com (go now!), aka the greatest website on the internet (after this blog). We spent the next few hours listing Disney villains and European capitals that begin with the letter F. It was glorious. Eventually even the easy lists were stumping us and we had to go to bed.

My time in LA was rocky. It had great points, but also terrible points. Build yourself a nice public transportation system, LA, and I'll be back.

Pictures are refusing to upload. Will try again tomorrow.